TOTS 100 - UK Parent Blogs

Monday, 28 January 2013

Some words of wisdom

<3 Cindy
@[398923206865965:274:Fibro Colors HAVEN]

Too many of us ladies find parts of ourselves that we don't like. These words have lots of meaning and its about time we listened to them! I myself am very guilty of not feeling good about myself, or even treating myself properly. I am instead overly critical of myself and everything i do, i don't like enough about myself and this year i would like to change that. I am comfortable in my own body to an extent, but i still have that guilt and too many things i would like to change. This is something i need to work on, less changing of myself and more acceptance.

Blessings to all xx

Not again- so much pain

Its happened again, so far i've been in a fibro flare up since sat. I wasn't too bad in the morning, but by afternoon the flu like symptoms had kicked in and i was hurting all over. Anything touching my skin made it feel as if i was on fire and whatever was touching me was freezing. Going to sit on the Toilet seat was the worst. You know its going to happen, but the shock of it hitting your system is unbearable.

My lower back cracked really badly this morning and that is now only painful, but upper back and neck are still agony. I've been downing painkillers regularly, but to be honest they don't even take the edge off. I just take them i guess in the hope that they will.

This is a condition that despite having people around who also suffer, still makes you feel very lonely. You can describe to someone how you feel, but no-one really knows.

Tuesday, 22 January 2013

Snow Jan 2013

My snowy garden from my bedroom window.
Now the worst of the snow is over and its starting to melt here i thought it about time to add some of our pictures to my memories. I haven't taken many as i tend to hide away from the cold due to it making me ill. but i ventured out a few times with the dog and daughter.
 
Yoda invetigating the snow. Daughter had thrown a snow ball at him.
 
Yoda helping daughter and I to make our 1st snowman in this house.
    
"Jessica" Fully completed. Something that daughter is very proud of.

Tuesday, 8 January 2013

Judging Others

Something my mum said to me the other day sprung to mind again earlier today. One of her resolutions for the year was not to judge others so quickly. Now i wouldn't say that my mum was the judging sort, she has always been very accepting of others. Never really bats an eye at people from different races, or those with a different quality of life. She has accepted every friend and boyfriend home equally, She's always supported everyone she can and even gone above and beyond what friendship would call for to help without even asking questions. So i am slightly confused at her choice of resolution. I think this is something that maybe i need to discuss with her and find out what she means by it.

Anyway on to my reason for posting. I realised today that i have been becoming judgemental of people without realising it. Someone will make a comment and i find myself agreeing to it without actually questioning why does that person do this, or live like that, or behave in that manner. So in keeping with my updating you all of my aims for this year, i am going to attempt to stop agreeing instantly and hold back. I'm not going to just judge them for what we see on the outside but think about the situation first.

Judge instantly is very easy and quick to do, i've had it done to me many times. I still have it done to me, particularly when i mention i can't do certain things that are physical. I look ok, i generally sound ok so i must be fine. These people don't see me crawling up the stairs at the end of the day, or sliding down them in the morning. They don't see me dropping hot pans or burning myself on hot things because i am shaking so much. They don't see me falling asleep while doing something because i am so tired, or worse still not being able to get out of bed because of the pain or tiredness.

Everyone behaves the way they do for a reason, and it is not another persons right to judge them for it. We should be accept each other for our differences and be willing to try and understand them. This is something i will be making a bigger effort to do this year.

Sunday, 6 January 2013

Doggie Sleep over and shenanegans.

 

Tonight is an exciting night, Yoda is having a sleep over with Auntie Pippi here. We are also looking after her tomorrow for the day while Yoda's mum goes to a show with his sister.

Pippi and Yoda.
 
 
So far its been an interesting night. While her mum was still here Pippi and the others got out of the garden and through next door and into the road out front. They were shouting at a man across the road and a few doors down.
This is despite mum and myself spending 2 hours trying to secures as much of the border as possible. They have still found holes to get through.
Luckily i have a man looking at the rest of the work that needs doing tomorrow am with a view of doing the work on Wednesday. Fingers crossed it all works out. From this evening on all the dogs will have to be on a lead when they go for their business. Something that i think is unfair to them as they can't run around as they should do.
 
So in keeping with my aim of being more organised i have done some long overdue bits to the garden, and have arranged someone to look at it. That's 2 items off my list. Tomorrow its on with some more.

Friday, 4 January 2013

All in a muddle

Today has been a typical day for me, everything has been Topsy turvey. We managed haircuts, walked the dog with my friend and her dogs, Son had a friend round and we were visited by his parents when they collected.

But still my brain has been in a muddle. This isn't unusual i hear those that know me cry. To tell the truth, no its not but it is more that normal and has been getting worse. I don't know what has been making it worse, if i did i could sort it out.

It could be something to do with the fact that Christmas and New Year have come and gone so quick, with no real showing of it other than the left over packets of foods, and the mess on the children's floors. My house is also a lot tidier as the result of a gathering i had here.
But all joking aside it hasn't felt like much of a change to the year. The weather never really got to be 'winter' and too many people said they didn't feel festive. I even know people who for the first time ever didn't bother with decorations.
And now already the shops are moving us on.

Tonight's blog was going to be one of two things. Either about my aims for the next year (other than the extra blogging effort one) or about my days so far into this year. But as is my habit when i log on i check the blogs i follow and came across a good point raised by my good friend. Her point was that already the shops are moving on with stock and have Easter things on the shelves, in this case hot cross buns.
If anyone is interested in reading the particular blog this is her link http://stationery-pigeon.blogspot.co.uk/

I have to say i totally agree with her, the shops are changing the seasons far too early. I don't like seeing Easter foods when we are still in winter and just after New Year, the same as i don't like seeing Christmas things appearing as soon as the children are back at school in September. It is rushing the years in what i feel is an ever increasing speed anyway. I now totally understand when my mum said to me when you have children time goes by even quicker. It does, and when your second child comes along it goes faster still. Then the shops try to get us to look through the year faster.

I think this is why i end up in such a muddle. The time never feels like the right time, because we are forced to think ahead too soon. We can't avoid it, wherever we look its is forced on us by TV, shops, billboards and due to all of these things our children then force us to think too far ahead. My daughter started telling me what she would like to do for her birthday just before Christmas. Some may think this isn't bad, but when her birthday was only 4 months previous and she was asking a few weeks before my sons i think that its a bit extreme!

I guess in a roundabout way this lead me on to think about how i will tackle this year, and therefor into writing about another of my aims. To be more organised!! Lots of you will laugh, because i am not an organised person as a rule. I know where my children need to be when it comes to clubs and most appointments, but as for everything else organisation goes out the window. So i am slowly going to get all my papers sorted, i have bought a page to view set of inserts for my Filofax, i have started clearing out the junk on FB that i never use and will be clearing my laptop of the same in time too. I will get myself into less of a muddle and when someone asks me a date for something, or a time or even where something in my house is, i want to be able to give an answer instantly, and not the one that is 'i don't know' as i do now.

As i said- I'm in a muddle today. I started writing about one thing and ended on something different, but it fitted in rather nicely i think. Until tomorrow, enjoy.
C x

Thursday, 3 January 2013

Diaries

For years i tried to keep diaries, every New Year without fail i would start a new one, meticulously writing down my thoughts and happenings of that day, i would always fill it in just before bed each night.
Then typically something would happen, i would be later to bed, or too tired and i missed a few days. A few days would turn into a week and then a few weeks, before i knew it a month would go by and i hadn't managed to write anything. In each of the gaps i would desperately struggle to remember what i had done and thought with certain situations. But by March at the latest it would be hopeless and the whole thing fell by the wayside. The last time i really tried was when my son was born, i wanted to have a permanent record for him to read when i had passed of how i felt when he was growing up, things that had happened when he was still too young to remember. He arrived during a turbulent time and i wanted to use the diary as a way of explaining some things, almost as in a letter. This particular diary lasted the longest but if i recall correctly it died a death the same as all the others by the time he was 4 months old. Considering he was born just before Christmas i didn't manage to keep it for very long.
I hoped when i started this blog that this would be a way of capturing my thoughts and happenings on a more regular basis and sharing it with my readers and friends, but the same thing has happened and i have been remiss in sitting down and doing very much in recent months.

What got me thinking about diaries and keeping one was my Nana over Christmas. I stayed with my mum and Nana for a couple of nights and one night while going in to say good night she was on the bed writing her diary, this is something she has done every night for many year. Somewhere in her room are years of books filled in daily in her scribble, telling of her thoughts of our activities through the times. I did wonder what she has written. My Nana you see is a very supportive person, she'll give her advice if you ask for it, but never forces it on you. She is very blunt and upfront when she talks to you and i imagine this is the way she has written too. I find it hard to think that she has started in the 'Dear Diary' way that we often see in books or television.
It also prompted me into wondering if many people actually keep a traditional diary these days, or if they rely just on blogs or notes to record their life.

Without the traditional diary that was at one point a daily activity particularly for girls and women we would not really have as clear an idea of social history and daily life. They give us such an insight into activities, thoughts during a certain time, fears and worries and how people coped. I don't like to think that one day all of this will be lost.

I do however know, that my Nana's diaries will be kept as a record of her part in our lives and maybe one day i may bring myself to be able to read them without feeling that i am snooping into her privacy. The one part of her life that i would dearly love to know more about is when she was younger. She always tells the same stories and occasionally we get some other good snippets coming out, but without a specific day or event to ask about its difficult to get her to talk about herself as she's not much of a talker really.

So as one of my aims for the New Year, i will be logging here and talking away about more of the events in my life. At least in this way my children will have a record of events and thoughts. And in my small way i am keeping a record of life in the 21st century for those who come after me.
Scary thought there to end my evenings visit.

Happy New Year all